Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Impact

The events of last year impacted my family profoundly, but out of everyone, I believe my 9 year old daughter was impacted the most.

 This is just the beginning of her story...

My daughter sang this song for us on Saturday, May 12th...

Tell me why, I don't understand.
Tell me why, or show me your hand.
Tell me why because I can't see my way through
What now...should I...do
The battle is not ours
We look to God above
For he will guide us safely through
and guard us with his love
I will not be afraid
I will not run and hide
For there is nothing I can't face
when God is at my side
No, there is nothing I can't face
when God is at my side

2 days later, she witnessed her mother's sudden death.

My husband did a phenomenal job of protecting my kids from the details of what was going on as it all happened. He fiercely protected them, and I am so thankful to him for being such a great father even in the midst of his own fear and grief. My now 7 year old still isn't quite sure what happened and is fairly blissfully ignorant (which I am thankful for). But my older daughter perceived that there was more than what she was told. In August, she came to me and grilled me with very pointed questions. So I gave her honest answers.

My Daughter: "Did you die?"

Me: "Yes.... for a few minutes. But remember you prayed for me in the garage? God hears you every time you talk to Him. He brought me back to life. You and Daddy prayed for a miracle, and God answered. Remember?"

My Daughter: "Yes we prayed hard. (Sister) wouldn't stop crying. Did it hurt to die?"

Me:  "No. I didn't feel anything. And when I woke up, I was very confused, but I felt so peaceful in my heart."

I pulled up a medical website and spent a long time showing her pictures of a heart and explaining to her medically what happened and how the doctors fixed the problem so it would never happen again.

One day, she opened up to me and said, "Mom, today in church we learned that God always keeps His promises. I know this is true, because He kept His promise to me." I was absent minded, half listening, and cooking dinner, so I muttered, "Hmmm? What promise was that?" I heard her say, "When we were praying for you, and you were going to the hospital, God told me everything was going to be ok. And He kept His promise to me."  My eyes shot up from the frying pan, and the air left my lungs. I said, "When did He tell you this?" She said, "In the garage when we were praying." A tear slipped down my cheek... God cared enough about her to reveal Himself to her in one of her most terrified moments.

Since then she has just loved learning everything she can about the God who revealed Himself to her and kept His word. Sometimes I find her on her bed reading her Bible. She talks about God all the time and cannot fathom why anyone would not believe that He exists. She has a very sensitive heart to the things she knows God cares about and is very active in our ministry to love the fatherless.

Last week she was in the car with my husband on the way to school and said, "Dad, you know when I first started believing God can do anything? When Mom came back to life." We've both told her that there will be days in her life when she won't understand what God is doing and why it seems to not make sense at all... but she can always look back and REMEMBER what God did for her and KNOW that He is always good and will always keep His promises.

What was meant to destroy... what was meant to annihilate her young life... God reversed into something amazing and is using it to build her into a woman of unshakable faith.

She's only 9, but watch out. This girl will grow up and change the world....

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